GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
UNFLAPPABLE
A local man was seen strutting down Courtenay Place today with a Bluetooth speaker blaring what he confidently claimed to be “some hot shit that’s the future,” leaving bystanders both amused and puzzled.
Witnesses reported that the man, identified only as “Rex”, appeared to be under the impression that his choice of music was universally beloved by all who had the privilege of hearing it.
Dressed all in red and enjoying one of those rare but unbeatable sunny Wellington days, Rex’s aura of musical omnipotence was undeniable.
“Looks like he’s on a mission, sharing his tastes with the world,” smiled Sarah Johnson, a passerby who couldn’t help but overhear the man’s sonic spectacle. “I’ve never heard someone so convinced that everyone around them is enjoying their music..”
What was emanating from Rex’s speaker, however, was the subject of some debate. “I couldn’t quite put my finger on it,” remarked Dave Galley, a local muso who was enjoying a craft beer in the sun nearby. “It was like a mixtape of SoundCloud rappers, YouTube parody songs, and an occasional Mr Whippy jingle thrown in for no reason at all.”
Rex sauntered down the street, loving life, seemingly oblivious to the reactions of the people around him.
“I’m a trendsetter,” he declared when questioned about his musical choices. “I’ve got a ear for this shit. These beats are the future.”
Although he expressed a generally happy demeanour, most pedestrians were seen avoiding eye contact with the musical juggernaut, walking quickly and giving him a wide berth.
Rex remained unfazed, gesturing dramatically to his Bluetooth speaker as if it were the Holy Grail of sound systems. “They don’t get it,” he mused. “They’re stuck in the past with their old shit. This the new shit.”
Despite his unflappable confidence, the mobile DJ was not able to open up the people’s eyes to “the future”. As he disappeared into the distance, we can only hope that one day, somewhere, Rex will find the appreciative audience he’s been looking for.
More to come.
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