ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport
TOTE TRAUMA
Shane Walters has once again readied himself for his favourite day of the year, the Melbourne Cup. Otherwise known as “the day he professionally humiliates himself for sport.”
Having lost money on the last decade of Melbourne Cup races, Walters insists “this is the one” .
“Every year I tell myself I’ll bet responsibly,” said the 34-year-old data analyst, ironing his colourful shirt he’ll wear to his office tomorrow. “Then I put $50 on a horse because I like its name and proceed to watch my hopes die before the first turn. Some years my horses have literally died during the race.”
Despite always betting well outside his budget, and his long history of “strategic misfortune,” Walters remains confident. “I’m only trying to get one horse to win, or at least place. There’s only 24 horses in the Melbourne Cup, it’s not like I’m trying to pick the winning Lotto numbers!’ Walters explained.
Colleagues say Shane generally takes the annual defeat in good humour “He spends the whole day pretending he understands form guides,” said co-worker Greg Hunt. “By 5:10pm he’s swearing at the TV, and by 5:20pm he’s rechecking that his horse which finished dead last hasn’t somehow managed to place.
Walters’ partner, Amy, confirmed the cycle. “He comes home broke, full of excuses and every year he says ‘never again’, but every year he’s back at it. It’s honestly impressive how consistent his bad luck is.”
Still, Walters refuses to give up. “Someone’s gotta lose so the bookies can eat,”
More to come.
