Local Teacher’s Biggest Regret Was Becoming A Teacher

screaming teacher



Whakataki primary school teacher Jamie Thomson has had an absolute gutsful. 

After her third straight weekend of lesson planning and classroom prep, her thoughts had turned dark and wandered off into dangerous territory. .

“Why do I bloody bother? These kids don’t care, couldn’t give a toss!”, said the 25 year old, throwing her hands up in despair. 

At 3.10 today when the last child had left to go home, the broken woman collapsed in a heap on the Paw Patrol branded bean-bags in the corner of her classroom. From her fetal position she explained to our reporters what the matter was.

“It’s just so exhausting just getting through the day, managing the behaviours of each and every little weirdo I’m meant to be teaching,” she said. 

“Feel sorry for most of the kids who actually want to learn something – they get hardly any of my attention because I’m doing crowd control on the other little shits,” she gasped. 

“I thought teaching was supposed to be this beautiful, rewarding job, where it didn’t matter that the pay was pitiful because of the personal satisfaction. The only satisfaction I get is from the wine in the staff room at 3.05 pm Fridays,” Thomson said, clearly already hankering for her Friday afternoon escape from reality. 

The Whakataki Times reporters asked what was so bad about an extra 10 weeks holidays per year and finishing work at 3pm each week day.

“3pm and weekdays? Are you kidding me? I’ll never know what it’s like to have a full weekend off. How can anyone go out on a Saturday night and bear the horror of lesson planning on a Sunday evening?” Jamie said while looking physically ill..

“I thought that I loved kids. I don’t. I don’t want to be a teacher anymore,” she decided with authority. “Becoming a teacher is the biggest regret I’ve ever had, not to mention teacher’s college, what a waste of time and money that was! 

“Surely I can find a job in an office where there’s downtime and I can just have some work to do and be left alone. It’s not that much to ask. I’m an intelligent enough woman. Just give me some admin and I’ll smash it!” said Ms Thomson with a newfound gleam of enthusiasm in her eyes.

The Whakataki Times can confirm that the teacher was last seen heading towards the school staff room with her laptop, presumably to help herself to the leftover wine in the fridge and to begin a determined search through the Trademe job ads.

More to come.

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