Local Vegan Rejects Chris Hipkins’ “Bread And Butter” Issues And Raises “Bread And Olivani Table Spread” Issues

vegan lady with olivani table spread with chris hipkins in the background with his bread and butter.



Morally superior, animal-loving vegan Maria Sorensen has taken issue with PM Chris Hipkins’ new media line, “bread and butter issues”. 

While many media outlets are highlighting the fact that all their favourite Labour policies are being burned to a crisp on a bonfire, Ms. Sorensen has found a new reason to be upset. “Umm, bread and butter issues? Really?? That’s not very inclusive Chris Hipkins, what about all the people who don’t eat animal products?  

“This government doesn’t care about animal rights or the vegan community,” she stated matter-of-factly. “If Chris Hipkins wants to win the support of my plant-based community, he should be focusing on bread and olivani table spread issues”.

It was not immediately clear what “olivani table spread issues” would include, and when pushed on the subject, Sorensen could not provide much more clarity. “Well maybe you could ask the Prime Minister. Chris Hipkins is the one burning all the good policies and making up new ones. Why make up bread and butter policies and not policies that we can all be included in?” she jeered. 

“It’s not even about the policies themselves. Just the arrogance to communicate them as ‘bread and butter’ really shows the amount of privilege Hipkins has. It’s clearly a trope that stretches back to colonialism, when white people valued animal products so highly that they decided to push them on Maori. 

“Can’t believe Hipkins is using white supremacist language like this to race-bait middle New Zealand. Really sad,” opined Ms Sorensen, who may have over-thought this. 

Hipkins was not available for comment, but was last seen rummaging through Ardern’s old policy cupboard, no doubt looking for more rubbish to chuck on the fire. 

More to come.

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