GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
ROLLING SUB
In an effort to avoid being yelled at by various Māori leaders at Waitangi this year, PM Christopher Luxon has reached out to non-travelling reserve Leigh Hart to fill in while he takes a breather on the sidelines.
Luxon made the call to attend Waitangi today instead of Friday after realising that another day there would mean more extreme humidity in an uncomfortable suit and several more hours of people being deeply unhappy with him and his Coalition partners.
“Look, it’s always hot, you can’t take the jacket off, and no one ever says anything nice,” Luxon reportedly told colleagues. “I just thought maybe we could rotate the role a bit.”
Leigh Hart, who bears a striking resemblance to the Prime Minister and has a long history of playing awkward New Zealand men on television, was said to be “very open” to the idea.
“Yeah nah, I could do that,” Hart said. “Just a one day thing. In and out. Bit of sunscreen. Few nods. Happy to help.”
Hart allegedly asked only a handful of practical questions, including whether he needed to learn any te reo, how long he would be required to look solemn and whether the job would be a “cashie”.
“I assume this is off the books,” he said. “Cash is fine, no need to drag IRD into it.”
Insiders say the Prime Minister was reassured by Hart’s relaxed approach.
“He’s got the look down,” one staffer said. “Tall, shiny head, confident stride. From a distance no one would know.”
Hart is also understood to be comfortable with the expected reception.
“I’ve been heckled before,” he said. “I did Moon TV. This is basically the same thing but with flags.”
When asked if he was worried someone might notice the switch, Hart shrugged.
“Most people don’t listen to what he says anyway. Usually they’re too busy yelling.”
At time of writing, Luxon was reportedly finalising his own Waitangi Day plans, which include a BBQ where he’s not being shouted at.
More to come.
