Magical Motorbike Makes Greens Co-Leader Spout A Bunch Of Small-Minded Nonsense

marama davidson with magical motorbike

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics

IT’S A KIND OF MAGIC

After being horrifically hit by a motorcyclist that failed to stop at a pedestrian crossing in the weekend, Greens co-leader Marama Davidson was understandably shaken. 

Something strange happened when that motorcycle collided with her however. The normally controlled member of parliament was apparently turned into a different person by the incident, as if by magic. 

While possessed by some kind of motorcycle sorcery, Davidson was filmed on camera saying that the group that causes the violence in this world is “white cis men”. 

Stopping short of apologising for this factually untrue statement, Davidson attempted to clarify what she meant by blaming the motorcycle for her saying what she said. 

Some are finding this excuse hard to accept however. 

Local witch, Genevieva Kadabra, who has an extensive knowledge of witchcraft and wizardry, said there was no such thing as a motorcycle that can magically make people speak hateful rubbish. 

“No, not that I’ve ever heard of. The only way someone could lose control of their own tongue like that would be if they were to take a speech or mind control potion,” Kadabra said while stirring the contents of her cauldron. 

“No, it sounds to me like she’s simply blamed a group of people for all the violence in the world based purely on their sex and skin colour. Classy.”

It appears that some of the alleged magic from the motorcycle is still in Davidson’s system however, as she has still not been able to bring herself to apologise for a divisive statement, not based in reality. 

More to come.

Want to keep up with more of the news that’s important? Instagram works well for that! Check out the Whakataki Times on Insta.

Enjoying the Whakataki Times and want to say thanks? Now you can! Use the form below to make a financial contribution to the team’s operating costs. 

How much do you reckon?

Up to you how much
$