GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport
THE CURSE.
A Palmerston North man has come forward anonymously to confess to causing the Warriors to lose their NRL semifinal over the weekend.
“Simon”, as he will be known for the purposes of this story, describes himself as a “part time fan” of the team, and generally doesn’t bother tuning in to the Warriors’ season unless they’re winning.
“Every couple of years I’ll hear that the Warriors have been playing well, which sometimes entices me into watching a game. All this hype starts building up around them and people start saying things like “our year”. Only problem is whenever I watch them, it’s basically a guaranteed loss,” said Simon, his face concealed and his voice changed to protect his identity.
“This year was supposed to be different. This year has been their best ever in terms of games won and fan attendance, and I decided it was my duty to keep their winning ways going by not watching a single game.
“But it all became too much for me. After they lost to the Dolphins, a game I didn’t watch, I thought surely that was the signal for me to get on board and watch their semifinal on Sunday. Surely I was allowed to see the Warriors do well just this once,” he said, head down in shame over what he had done.
“But it wasn’t to be. I selfishly decided to watch the game and ruin the season for everyone in New Zealand. I knew it could happen, but I did it anyway.”
Simon now believes that the only way it is possible for the Warriors to ever win an NRL title is if he never watches them again.
“If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. I’ve learnt my lesson. The Warriors will win it one day, but I won’t be a part of it. That’s my role and my burden,” said Simon solemnly.
“It’s my curse and I will keep it to myself.”
More to come.
