“Man That Smells Good” – Local Man Cooks Onions And Accepts Outsized Compliments On Cooking Ability

man cooking on bbq

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture 

LIVING A LIE

Matt Smyth, 34, had previously avoided all responsibility at shared gatherings for years at his flat. But on Saturday night, at his flatmate Sarah’s birthday barbecue, everything changed.

Armed with a can of beer in one hand and a pair of tongs in the other, Matt took it upon himself to fire up the barbecue, a device he admitted to his mate earlier he had only watched other people use, as he often only made two minute noodles on toast.

Feeling like he had finally showcased some responsibility after four years of flatting at the same place, he also felt a disproportionate sense of accomplishment after one of the guests came over to the BBQ he was somehow in charge of.

“Man, that smells good!” he said with wide-eyed enthusiasm.

“Yeah thanks, usually like to start it off like this . But, you know, onions make everything better”  remarked Matt, feeling like he was Nadia Lim on a cooking show and adding value to a situation for once.

Meanwhile, an untouched packet of sausages sat sweating on the picnic table.

When someone suggested he might “throw some meat on there,” Matt rescinded.

“Yeah may just wait a tad longer before chucking that on. I want to make sure all the guests are here first before dishing out a feed,” lied Matt, unsure about what part of the BBQ would likely burn the sausages to a crisp.

More to come. 

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