Netflix Cracks Down On Users But Forgets That People Can Actually Just Use The Internet To Download Shit

man on laptop with netflix branding in background



Major streaming provider Netflix has been doing a lot lately to annoy its customers, leading many to believe they have forgotten an important point about the internet.

As the company discovered that there were many, many people sharing their account logins with friends and family, they of course jumped to the solution of banning this behaviour. Netflix has confirmed, without a shadow of a doubt, that they are no longer the fresh new innovative way to deliver entertainment, and are instead an entrenched part of the establishment, doing all they can to punish and ban things they don’t like. 

The important point that the entertainment giant has forgotten of course, is that people can still download shit for for free. People do not actually need to have Netflix. Ask any millennial about their younger days, and they will tell you that file-sharing was pretty much the only option for watching stuff when you had no money. 

33 year old Anthony van Lier explained why he’s dropped Netflix like it’s got something gross on it. “Cost of living ay. Rent’s gone up, grocery bill’s gone up. Something’s gotta get the chop. Netflix needs me a lot more than I need it, sorry..

“And I’ll be paying for my internet connection anyway, so…” explained the unashamed video pirate, shrugging away any concern he may have had for the entertainment industry. 

Caitlyn Clarke, also 33, took a slightly different approach to getting her entertainment for free. “Ha it’s kinda like being back in 2008 again ay. I always just knew people who seemed to have movies on their computers and I could just come along with my USB and get whatever I wanted. So yeah, my husband knows a guy and he just gets movies for us.

“I did have Netflix, but they kinda just kept getting more and more annoying, and their content wasn’t really getting any better, so in the end we just had to say bye,” she explained. 

The Whakataki Times approached Netflix for comment, posing the question “what if people cancel their accounts and just start downloading shit?”, to which we received no comment. 

More to come.

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