New Mum Exhausted By Colleague Who Insists On Comparing Child With Puppy

women thinking about labrador

KASSIE MACKAY | Culture

NO, SHE DIDN’T COME OUT OF YOU

After returning from maternity leave this week, Georgia Montag is already hanging out for a holiday. 

For the last week, she has endured the exasperating and repetitive reminisces of her childless, millennial colleague, who insists that having a six-month-old Labrador is the same as having a six-month-old infant.

“In five days, I have seen more puppy photos than there are on the entire Instagram platform and I have run out of ways to be polite when I see them,” Montag explained while scrubbing a suspicious stain from her shirt.

The problem, Montag says, is that her colleague appears entirely unable to read the room when it comes to showing off photos of her so-called baby.

“I clearly just want to do my job and go home to my child, but all I hear about is how long Marley slept for last night, and how expensive Marley’s clothing is, Marley’s favourite toys, who his friends are at daycare.”

Montag understands that her colleague is trying to show empathy and find a common ground. She has tried nodding along politely as the colleague shows off pictures that all look pretty much the same, and even laughed when she suggested that playing fetch might help a newborn baby sleep better.

But Montag also alleges that a line was crossed on Friday afternoon, when her colleague pulled out doctored images of a Labrador inside a human womb.

“How do you even respond to that?”

More to come.

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