GORDON LIGHTFOOT | World
LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH
The widely ridiculed band of the 2000s, Nickelback are counting their blessings in 2024.
While lead singer Chad Kroeger had felt left out at the time, he and his band mates are now quite pleased they didn’t get the invite to any of Sean “P Diddy” Combs’ infamous celebrity parties.
“Turns out being an uncool, commercially focused soft metal band paid off in the long run,” said Kroeger as he held up a photograph from a Diddy party, while telling us to look at it.
“We always felt like the outcasts of the music industry. A bit like high school, not getting invited to parties by the cool kids.”
Kroeger then put the photograph down after it was suitably acknowledged by the reporters in attendance.
“In the end though, we’re all really pleased we were never drugged and videotaped committing heinous sex crimes,” he laughed.
While rumours swirl on the internet about just how bad this guy is, we can confirm Diddy is in federal custody and has been accused of sexual assault by 120 different people. Without going into too much detail, there’s been speculation about which other celebrities are just as bad, if not worse than Diddy, and there have been many calls to “pray for Justin Bieber”.
Kroeger also addressed the latest claims that Nickelback are actually good, something that journalists only began reporting earlier this year.
“Just as well that people only think we’re cool now that we’re all old and settled down with families. No chance of us staying out too late at an event anyway, let alone one of Diddy’s ‘freak-offs’,” said Kroeger logically.
“Gotta admit I’m enjoying watching all this stuff come out though. Definitely going through the popcorn,” he laughed.
More to come.
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