ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
TRAGIC LOSS FOR THE BOYS
A few good men have been mourning over Hannah Watts’ Instagram account lately.
Some Christchurch locals’ are devastated at the transformation of Watts’ social media photos, which went from a vibrant festival highlight reel account into an endless stream of baby photos.
“Back in 2018, she was out there doing God’s work—posting sunset bikini pics with vague captions like ‘energy’ or boomerangs of her doing shots at a beach bar overseas. Now? It’s just continuous updates of her newborn showcasing a new outfit,” said one upset follower.
The shift reportedly began subtly, with a single pregnancy announcement accompanied by the classic “our little miracle” caption. But within months, the algorithm’s worst fears were realized—stories filled with pram walks, and milestone stickers.
“I get it, she’s a mum now,” sighed another disheartened follower, Dylan Harris, 28, who has yet to recover from the emotional whiplash of seeing Hannah’s grid shift from festival outfits to bassinet reviews. “But does the world really need this many updates about sleep regressions? Where’s the tasteful festival glitter? The strategic hot dog leg photos? The tequila shots??”
Sources say the final blow for her male followers came when she replaced the last remnants of her old life—the iconic Ibiza 2019 highlight reel—with a new folder simply titled ‘Baby Bean’
Unfollow rates have reportedly spiked by 73%.
More to come.
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