One Eyed Cantab Furious That No Canterbury Loosies Are In The End Of Year Tour Squad

One Eyed cantab with all blacks haka in background



Craig Chamberlain is once again filled with rage.

That’s because out of the six loose forwards that have been picked on the All Blacks Northern Hemisphere tour – which has tests against Japan, Wales, Scotland and England – none of the loose forward pack are from the Canterbury region.

The 56 year-old from the Christchurch suburb of Shirley explained his frustration to our reporters.

“If you think Ian Foster’s love affair with the Barrett brothers is bad, wait til you hear about his love affair with his Auckland loosies and the Ioane’s!” Chamberlain said as he grunted at the squad list. The squad once again included Akria Ioane, who has not been up to test match standard compared to other players in the same position.

“Do you actually think any of that current crop will make a turnover against those northern hemisphere teams? Our captain is barely making the starting line up himself!” Chamberlain said with disgust.

“When on earth has Shannon Frizell and Hoskins Sotutu actually outplayed the likes of Cullen Grace and Tom Christie in the Crusaders? It’ll be hard to think of an example as it has never happened!” Chamberlain said with his regular disdain.

“And by the way, why did they pick three first-fives? We know there’s only one man who should be wearing the 10 jersey!” Chamberlain yelled, meaning that the only first-five they should bother taking on the northern hemisphere tour is Richie Mo’unga.

As our reporters tried to reason with Chamberlain, he decided to continue his rave with one final remark.

“Matt Todd would out play all of this lot if they were playing in the same era!”

More to come.

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