One-Eyed Cantab Reckons The All Blacks Should Play in Christchurch, Not In “Bloody Melbourne On A Bloody Thursday Night!”

One eyed cantab outside Marvel Stadium, Melbourne.



Craig Chamberlain has again got beef with the NZRU and The All Blacks.

The 56 year-old from the Christchurch suburb of Shirley is finding it hard to comprehend why the All Blacks are facing the Wallabies in the first Bledisloe Cup test in the AFL hotbed of Melbourne, a place where there is very little interest in rugby union. The match will also be played this Thursday night.

Our reporters were inside Chamberlain’s Shirley home, finding him once again sitting back on his lazy boy with a Canterbury Draught in hand.

“They starve us here in Canterbury for six years of no All Blacks tests, then give us a pathetic match against Argentina where we crash to an embarrassing historic home loss. The least they can do is make up for it!” grumbled Chamberlain in his Crusaders jersey.

“It’s the damn business season of the AFL in Melbourne anyway for god’s sake. Who the hell is going to turn up to… Marvel Stadium is it called? And it’s on a bloody Thursday night too! They’re probably thinking the Melbourne Storm are playing!”

Chamberlain has a point. There is confusion as to why a relatively important first Bledisloe Cup test in Australia is going to feature in a city that almost goes out of its way to ignore any other sport apart from AFL.

“It’s played at 9:45pm here, nobody in their right minds in Australia is even going to watch it over there on a weeknight at 7:45pm. Bring it to Christchurch and give us some decent rugby with a decent opposition!”

“Be it SANZAR or those damn goons at the NZRU in Wellington, somebody needs their heads checked over this fixture!!”

More to come.

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