OVERSHADOWED: Jane Campion Now Wishing She Had Slapped Chris Rock Too

Jane Campion slapping Chris Rock



Kiwi Director Jane Campion, who won the Oscar for Best Director this year, is now wishing she had done something over the top and ridiculous at the ceremony, after missing out on the proper acknowledgement she deserves. 

Campion, who foolishly behaved normally throughout the whole evening and then accepted her award graciously, is now realising that the correct thing for her to do was slap Chris Rock in the face. 

“Any publicity is good publicity right?” said Campion the day after the awards, “…turns out the best publicity you can get at the Oscars is not from winning an award through quality film-making and years of hard work. No, what I should have done is slap Chris Rock in the face”, said the embarrassed director. 

“Can’t believe I thought that the right thing to do to get attention in the film industry was to be a competent and mentally stable individual who excels in her field”, she said in disbelief. 

Campion is now reportedly being lectured by her publicist about the importance of acting like a toddler in front of a camera to get attention. 

“I’m getting it from every angle!”, said Campion. “…she was like ‘What the hell were you thinking?!’, ugh I feel so stupid for not taking the chance to stomp on the last remaining shred of dignity or prestige that the Oscars may have had left. Bloody Will Smith beat me to it!”.

The Whakataki Times understands that Campion is in talks with another external publicity agency about how she could publicly humiliate herself in the future.

More to come.

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