GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National
CRIMINALLY LOW PRICES
Stickman, the national spokesman for Pak n Save, has said “enough is enough” after news broke that non-MP Golriz Ghahraman is now being investigated for shoplifting at their Royal Oak supermarket.
Ghahraman was convicted on four counts of shoplifting back in June, after stealing clothes from high end fashion boutiques in Auckland and Wellington. Today’s allegation however suggests she may have downgraded to pinching lollies from the pick n mix.
Stickman, despite having no facial features, was visibly furious.
“Stickman here! At Pak n Save, we keep prices low… BUT NOT THAT LOW GOLRIZ! You still have to pay!” he yelled at viewers during Pak n Save’s latest TV ad.
“When I said that our Meat Week prices were a steal, I DIDN’T MEAN IT LITERALLY GOLRIZ!”
Ghahraman had previously said that the stress of being an MP and being in the public eye had made her start slipping things from shops into her handbag. It would seem that not being an MP is just as stressful.
Greens leader Chloe Swarbrick was annoyed to find out her former colleague had been accused of more crime, but said there’s not much else she can do about it for the Greens’ image.
“Well look she’s already resigned from the party, so it’s not like we can make her resign again,” she said from the end of her tether.
“Just as I’ve said in the past it would be great if some normal people could come and join the Greens. Just normal, stock-standard people who care about the environment, but who don’t do anything weird or illegal.”
Swarbrick would not comment on whether the Palestinian keffiyeh she was wearing, gifted to her by Goriz, was stolen or not.
More to come.
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