GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
MAKING HIS OWN FUN
A Wellington public servant has introduced a new internal performance framework this week, although it is one that only applies to himself and exists entirely to trick his brain into believing he is enjoying his job.
Thirty-two-year-old policy analyst Simon Verrall revealed that his personal job satisfaction scoring system, nicknamed “work points”, went live on Monday morning, after several months of feeling his soul dissolve at the Ministry of Social Development.
“It’s pretty simple,” he explained, sipping his third long black of the day. “If I finish reading an email without rolling my eyes, that’s ten points. If I sit through a meeting without fantasising about quitting on the spot, that’s twenty.”
Simon says the point system is the only thing keeping him even remotely engaged with his work, which lately has consisted of rewriting a briefing note he already wrote last month, but with “slightly more priority language”.
“There are days where nothing happens except five Teams calls and an all-staff email about somebody’s secondment,” he said. “So I give myself bonus points for surviving until 3pm without screaming internally.”
His colleagues report that Simon has been noticeably more cheerful this week, although they initially assumed it was because he had finally found a new job.
“No, no new job,” he clarified. “Just dopamine trickery. If I hit 200 points in a day I treat myself to an overpriced smoothie.”
Despite being well aware of the grand machine of bureaucracy grinding slowly around him, Simon insists he has found something resembling purpose.
“I’ve built dashboards. I’ve colour-coded categories. I’ve gamified despair,” he said proudly. “Honestly, morale’s never been higher.”
When asked if he could share the system with his wider team as part of “wellbeing initiatives,” Simon looked appalled.
“God no,” he said. “If SLT gets their hands on this, they’ll turn it into a wider org strategy.”
“Anyway this is the kind of unlock that people just need to discover for themselves.”
More to come.
