Report: NZ Rugby Says Everything Is Just Fine

Ian Foster engulfed in flames



New Zealand Rugby and the All Blacks have confirmed everything is just fine today by making absolutely no sweeping changes to their current squad or coaching staff in their Rugby Championship squad.

After an historic 2-1 home test series loss to Ireland, the All Blacks were expected to make at least some meaningful changes to their personnel or at least change the captain of the team. 

“I guess we have been under fire of late, not literally, but we can feel the heat,” said head coach Ian Foster, who was completely oblivious, much like the organisation who employs him, that he was completely surrounded in flames.

“I back our assistant coaches and the men that I’ve named to get the job done in South Africa,” Foster said to our reporters, without going into a single detail about how feasible that is after losing four of the last five tests with an incredibly tough away trip coming up.

After delaying the initial squad naming from Wednesday to Friday an unnamed NZRU executive approached our reporters and demanded more coverage, acting like the Whakataki Times were there to just serve them and the All Blacks.

“Gee how good was today’s naming guys? We’ve just delivered the answers to all our problems. I bet it was the news you guys were waiting for huh? Plus how good is Sam Cane going as captain at the moment?

“Really excited us to go away to South Africa and win both games under Foster and Cane’s leadership.”

More to come.

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