“RIP Twitter” Says Leftie Who Will Definitely Keep Using It

enraged leftie next to Elon Musk profile pic

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture

HE SHOULD BE FIXING THE ENVIRONMENT!!!

Genevieve Yelich, 26, has made a thinly veiled threat to leave social media platform Twitter, in response to billionaire Elon Musk buying the company for $66b today.

“Capitalism gone rogue! #RIPTwitter”, tweeted Yelich from her account Geny_nz. 

Yelich’s tweet comes after the SpaceX founder decided to buy the company because he believed the platform wasn’t living up to its commitment to free speech..

Yelich, who is doing a Master of Environmental Studies, explained to the Whakataki Times reporters her views on Musk acquiring the platform.

“He’s going to DESTROY free speech! This is just another example of how capitalism is crushing people’s lives. I can’t support a platform that is owned by a man who believes in this!” Yelich screamed in a fit of rage, tweeting exactly the same quote she gave our reporters.

“Also why is he wasting money making spaceships, why doesn’t he spend his money on fixing the environment!?, she said while conveniently forgetting that he founded Tesla, the most revolutionary electric car manufacturer in the world.  

Yelich, who was now drafting up a tweet about how this is “Just another one of Musk’s worthless vanity projects,” said that she’s been left no choice but to quit Twitter, this time with slightly more intent. 

Social media expert Pat Goldstein was unconvinced, explaining how important Yelich’s echo-chamber is.

“What we see among young people, particularly Gen-Y, is they have a profound need to have a bubble that gives them a boost among their like-minded followers. Without that boost, that can be detrimental to their social status as a SJW (Social Justice Warrior)”.

Yelich finally gave up on the act and sheepishly explained how she’ll retreat back into her echo-chamber and not join in the chorus to leave Musk’s platform.

“I mean without Musk buying Twitter today it was probably going to be a quiet seven months ahead, so I’ll milk this for all its worth. The Melbourne Cup and NZ Cup Day are on back-to-back weeks but that’s not until November,” she said, seemingly more than happy to continue her work as a SJW.

“Looking forward to hashtagging #NupToTheCup in November though! I’m never leaving this platform, I’ve got far too much important, impactful work to do.”

More to come.

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