SHOCK REVELATION: Private Boarding School Kid Turns Out To Be A Prick

sam uffindell in front of kings college

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National

WOW, REALLY?

In ground breaking news today, it has been confirmed that a student who attended the exclusive private boarding school, King’s College in Auckland, turns out to be a bit of a prick.

Sam Uffindell, the new National MP attended the prestigious school in the early 2000s, where it was revealed he viciously assaulted a fellow student in his short time there and was expelled.

It is news that has sent shockwaves across the nation due to its unforeseeability.

In fact it is very hard to believe that anyone in their right mind could have predicted that an independent school that has tuition fees of $45,000 per year, could have produced someone that felt so entitled he could go up to another student much younger than him and just beat him up.

Our reporters sought comments from completely shocked people around the country.

“A prick from King’s College? No way. I thought they were all nice guys, ya know, caring for others less fortunate than them? Fake news!” 

“A white kid with rich parents doing something like that at King’s? Get out of it. What are you smoking?”

“So you’re saying another rich male politician thought he could just go unpunished for something he did and not expect any consequences? You say he went to King’s College too? Wow, I’m going to have to do more fact checking. Surely not”

More to come.

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