Smug Millennial Interrupts Test Cricket Viewers With Textbook “Who’s Winning?” Enquiry

pink haired woman laughing at cricket

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport

“URRRGHHH”

Wellington-based HR advisor Ruby Galbraith has done it again today, after noticing colleagues Sam Ellison and Josh Orr enjoying free-to-air test cricket in the office break room.

Knowing exactly what she was doing, the 31 year old callously asked them the most annoying question possible during a five day test match. 

“Oh hey guys, ooh cricket huh? Who’s winning?”

As their hearts sank simultaneously, Ellison and Orr looked at each other in despair, silently negotiating who would be the one to respond. Ellison eventually rose to the challenge.

“Really Ruby? Is that a serious question?” he pleaded meekly, having just lost the will to live. 

“What? It’s a sports game right? Who’s winning the game?” she smiled innocently. 

After exhaling heavily, he gave his very well-rehearsed explanation. 

“It’s never a simple cut and dried question to answer Ruby, it’s a five day test match and we’re into day 2. We made a good total yesterday and this morning, and now we’ve made a good start with the ball.

“But as I just said it’s a five day match, so all I can actually say is New Zealand are doing very well at the moment, but you wouldn’t say they’re ‘winning’”, he explained, exasperated. 

“Of course I don’t know why I bother explaining any of this to you because you obviously don’t care about cricket, and never have,” said Ellison, defeated. 

After smiling innocently Ruby thwarted her opponents once again, saying “Haha err okay psycho, I was just making conversation,” before turning and leaving the scene, satisfied with the havoc she’d just created. 

Sam and Josh are reportedly relieved to be able to watch Day 3 at home due to the public holiday, safe from further attacks.

More to come. 

Big fan of the Whakataki? Use the form on this page to become a Whakataki backer. You can also follow us on Insta.

Enjoying the Whakataki Times and want to say thanks? Now you can! Use the form below to make a financial contribution to the team’s operating costs. 

How much do you reckon?

Up to you how much
$