Smug Wellingtonian Insists Their Coffee “Can’t Be Beat”

hipster man having a coffee in a cuba street cafe, Wellington.



Zeb Dustow, a self proclaimed coffee aficionado has constantly spread the gospel of Wellington’s coffee culture.

The 31 year-old has long held the belief that Wellington has the best coffee in the country, if not the world.

Dustow, who often grabs a morning coffee on the way to his start-up tech job in the Wellington CBD, would likely be offended by the mere suggestion that another place or city could rival any coffee made in Wellington.

With an air of smugness and a touch of arrogance Dustow explained why it “can’t be beat”

“Our secret is the unique blend of passionate baristas, top-quality beans and a culture that reveres the art of coffee-making like no other,” Dustow explained knowingly.

Despite his confident claims, Dustow struggles to articulate how exactly the city’s geographical location translates into superior coffee. Nevertheless, he remains stubborn in his conviction, refusing to offer concrete evidence to substantiate his views.

“I’ve seen friends of mine from out of town who thought they knew good coffee, but after trying Wellington’s brews, they were forced to reconsider,” Dustow recounted with a glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

In the eyes of Dustow, the Wellingtonian coffee experience is unparalleled, an unmatched fusion of flavour, craftsmanship, and dedication that has earned the city its prestigious coffee reputation. 

Whether or not this claim can be objectively proven, one thing is certain – Zeb Dustow is not about to let anyone cast doubt on the coffee supremacy of his beloved Wellington. Because it just can’t be beat.

More to come. 

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