Soon To Be Sacked Public Servant Reflects Fondly On Year’s Worth Of Pointless Work

three public servants laughing in break room



Joanne Collingwood, a 29 year old policy analyst at the Ministry of Primary Industries (MPI), is reflecting on a great year. 

Although Ms Collingwood’s cost recovery project was unceremoniously canned last week, and her services are no longer required, she is remaining positive. 

“This is just the reality of the public service right? Always dependent on the political winds of the day,” she laughed. 

While the soon-to-be redundant staff member is acutely aware that a whole year’s worth of work has been for absolutely nothing, she is still grateful for the good times. 

“It is a shame that five full time staff members worked on something for an entire year for no reason at all, but hey let’s look at the positives.

“I’ve met some fantastic people who are really driven to make a difference to Aotearoa. And even though they collectively made zero difference to Aotearoa for a whole year, I’ve made friends for life,” said Collingwood as she scrolled LinkedIn to connect with people she will likely never speak to again. 

“He tangata, he tangata, he tangata. It is the people, it is the people, it is the people,” she recited from memory, feeling excessively pleased with herself for doing so. 

Ms Collingwood and her team will be having farewell drinks at the Old Bailey next Friday, at their own expense.  

More to come. 

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