“Start Playing Will Jordan At Fullback!” Yells One-Eyed Cantab

canterbury rugby fan with will jordan in the background



Craig Chamberlain is one unhappy chappy.

The 56 year-old from the Christchurch suburb of Shirley has become continually frustrated that All Blacks coach Ian Foster has been playing Will Jordan on the wing instead of his preferred position of fullback. 

Our reporters caught up with Chamberlain inside his Shirley home, where he learned of the news that Jordan had again been named to start on the wing against Argentina tomorrow night. 

“Razor wouldn’t play him there if he was in charge!” Chamberlain grumbled, taking another sip of his Canterbury Draught lager and sporting a Crusaders jersey.

“This love affair with the Barrett brothers has to stop. Get our best fullback actually playing at fullback and get Jordie into the midfield where he can put his size to use!”

Chamberlain’s frustration comes from the fact that the speedster Jordan was lethal from the 15 jersey during the Crusaders title run this year, however he has struggled to inject himself into the game in recent weeks from the right wing.

“He can’t get any good ball on the damn wing as the inside backs and the fullback aren’t even putting him into any space in the first place!” berated Chamberlain, adjusting his eye patch. 

Chamberlain’s concerns about Jordan playing on the wing have also been echoed by many rugby pundits who have found it strange that one of the most prolific ball runners in space has been cast aside to the wing, an area where the ABs have struggled to get the ball out to. 

“Even after a historic loss to Argentina you’d think he’d make some changes to the starting line up. At least start with the most obvious positional change? Don’t get me started on Fozzie either!”

More to come.

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