Stuart Nash Returns Home To Find He’s Also Been Demoted To The Couch

stuart nash looking at couch with duvet and pillows on it



Former Police Minister Stuart Nash was demoted to the bottom of the cabinet rankings in Parliament today. This follows multiple breaches of the cabinet handbook, including him having naughty conversations with his old mate the Police Commissioner, Andrew Coster. 

But that may not have been the worst part of his day today. When Nash returned home after a tough day at the office, he found that he had also been demoted from his marital bed to the couch in the living room. As he stepped into his lounge, the dejected minister noticed that the big couch in the corner had been adorned with a bed pillow and an old duvet. 

Nash, who has been in the dog box with his wife before, knew exactly what the bedding on the couch meant for him. “Yep, well I should have seen this one coming.

“She was at me to put the rubbish out this morning, and I didn’t end up doing that because I’d overslept. And now she hears on the news that I’ve been given a major demotion at work,” explained Nash, scratching his head. 

“Wish I could say this was the first time I’ve been demoted to these sleeping quarters. She was filthy when I stayed out drinking with ol’ Costo last month. I said I’d be home by 12, but that turned into three,” he said, referencing his close friendship with police commissioner Andrew ‘Cuddles’ Coster.

It appeared that the former police minister was not particularly surprised or phased by his drop in status within the family. “Well, I was half-expecting it to be honest. Been a shit of a week hasn’t it? This is like a little cherry on top. 

“To be honest it’s a pretty decent couch, quite comfortable really. We bought it new last year and I thought I’d better get a really good one, considering the amount of time I spend sleeping down here”.

More to come.

Want to keep up with more of the news that’s important? Instagram works well for that! Check out the Whakataki Times on Insta.

Enjoying the Whakataki Times and want to say thanks? Now you can! Use the form below to make a financial contribution to the team’s operating costs. 

How much do you reckon?

Up to you how much