Sunblock In Eyes Worse Than Being Pepper Sprayed

Cam Jones rubbing sunscreen into his eyes.


Cam Jones, 23, was all set for a relaxing summer’s day at Waihi Beach today. But any thoughts of the day being remotely enjoyable were immediately thrown into utter chaos after the construction labourer rubbed sunscreen directly into his eyes.

‘Arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking hell!’, cried Jones, whose eyeballs were now completely on fire.

‘Stop rubbing them then!!’ squawked girlfriend Katie, 21, who lay motionless on her beach towel and made no attempt to help alleviate the situation. 

“Jeesssssuusss Chriisssstt!!” Jones again cried as his circumstances appeared to worsen after continually touching his eyes, even after being told repeatedly not to do so.

Witnesses explained to the Whakataki Times that Jones’ calamity unfolded due to a woeful attempt to apply some Nivea Sun SPF 50+ to his face to protect himself from the sun’s ultraviolet rays. 

“Here, use this for fuck’s sake” shouted Katie as she tossed him her water bottle.

The Whakataki Times reporters opted to leave the scene as Jones attempted to wash his eyeballs out with the remaining water from his girlfriend’s drink bottle.

“This shit fucking stings!”

More to come.

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