GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
OOH THAT’S A BIG ONE
Green Party co-leader Chloe Swarbrick absolutely copped it at the fines session today, after forgetting it was her turn to wash the dirty keffiyehs for the team.
Her teammates didn’t hold back, slapping her with a hefty $50 fine—the maximum allowable penalty—leaving her scrambling for an explanation.
“Oh fuck I forgot!” Chloe said to her team mates when asked about where their signature black and white keffiyehs were this morning.
“I got them out of the kit bag and they were all ready to go into the wash, but I must’ve got sidetracked.
“Still, a good top up to the funds for the end of year piss up,” she reasoned generously.
Co-leader Marama Davidson says this is the second time Swarbrick “forgot to wash the fuckin’ team kit”, which is why she got hit with such a hefty fine.
“When she said she’d forgotten again, I was like ‘oooooh this is gonna be a big one’,” said Davidson.
“I mean far out, how are we supposed to be taken seriously as the party that cares about conserving the environment, when we’re not sharply dressed as Palestinians?” she asked earnestly.
“Just end up looking shabby.”
Swarbrick was not the only one to get slammed in the team fines. Ricardo Menendez March was hit with a $30 “Winnie tax”, after getting rinsed by the old boy Winston Peters in parliament this week. Menendez March hit out at his own team, calling the fine “racist and xenophobic”.
Meanwhile Swarbrick, looking to right her wrongs, says she will “sort it tonight”, in relation to the smelly pile of keffiyehs sitting on the floor of her laundry.
More to come.
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