• Home
  • Sport
  • Culture
  • Politics
  • General news

Tag: crime

JUSTICE SHAKEUP: Guilty Criminals Could Soon Be Sentenced To Running It Straight At Warriors Training

chris luxon with local criminal at warriors training

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Crime TOUGH LOVE Prime Minister Chris Luxon has unveiled a new justice reform plan that could see convicted offenders sentenced to help train with the New Zealand Warriors. Specifically, they’ll be required to “run it straight” at the team during grueling training sessions. “New Zealanders are tired of crime, and they’re tired […]

Local Woman Finishes Criminal Law Degree Only To Find Out It’s Not The Same As The Crime Podcasts She Listens To

woman at graduation with true crime podcasts in front

QUITE DIFFERENT.

Alice Hipkins, a 25 year old financial advisor from Christchurch, revealed today that she is actually qualified to practise criminal law, something that has absolutely nothing to do with giving people advice about their mortgages.

DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.