Wellingtonians Vote To Replace Eagles At Wellington Airport With Cully And Captain Hurricane
WINDS OF CHANGE.
One-Eyed Cantab Dismisses Crusaders Home Loss To Moana Pasifika As An Elaborate Deepfake Scam
FANTASY LAND.
Crusaders Fans Start Visualising June Championship Parade After Blues Demolition Job
IT’S COMING HOME!
Caleb Clarke Tries Outrunning Opposition For Once Instead Of Going Straight Through Them
NEED FOR SPEED.
All Blacks winger Caleb Clarke has surprised rugby analysts and fans by attempting a radical new strategy: evasion.
Bloke Who’s ‘Snowed Under With Work’’ Somehow Finds Six Hours A Week To Fine-Tune Fantasy Rugby Side
TIME WIZARD.
Despite repeatedly telling friends he’s “snowed under with work”, 31-year-old Christchurch financial adviser Matt Peters has somehow managed to carve out six hours a week to tinker with his Super Rugby Pacific fantasy team.
Luka Dončić Reaches Out To Christian Cullen To Come To Terms With Not Being Wanted
BETRAYAL.
NBA superstar Luka Dončić has reportedly reached out to former All Blacks fullback Christian Cullen in an effort to process the unthinkable—being cast aside while still in his prime.
HOLLYWOOD HORROR: Rieko Ioane Set To Haunt Irish Dreams In Freddy Krueger Reboot
NIGHTMARE ON O’CONNELL STREET.
All Blacks centre Rieko Ioane has reportedly signed a deal with Newline Cinema to star in the latest instalment of the Freddy Krueger horror movie franchise.
England Player Facing Disciplinary Measures For Scoring Try Instead Of Kicking Drop Goal
GOING OFF SCRIPT.
In the wake of their nail-biting 24-22 defeat by the All Blacks at Twickenham, England’s coaching staff have quickly turned to serious internal matters.
English Rugby Guy Predictably Has Some Kind Of Issue With The Haka
LIKE CLOCKWORK.
Impeccably timed as always, an English person has made a big deal about the haka right before an England vs All Blacks test match.
Clubroom Beer Prices Continue To Defeat Inflation In New Zealand
ECONOMIC OUTLOOK IS GOOD.
With all the economic doom and gloom in New Zealand and the world right now, there is one part of society that is bucking the trend – New Zealand sports clubs.
