GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National
JUST TO BE SAFE.
Jacob Bentley had accepted his financial fate this afternoon as he stepped into a painfully trendy bar on Wellington’s Cuba Street.
Bentley, a 31-year-old plasterer currently flatting in the Wellington suburb of Mornington, made the trip into town to catch up with an old mate.
“We hadn’t hung out for about a year and I’d had a bad week so needed a beer anyway”.
After greeting his friend, Bentley looked over at the bar taps dotted with unfamiliar beer logos, swallowed his pride, pulled his phone out and opened up the BNZ app.
“I’d accepted that this trip would be destructive to the bank balance”, he sighed. “Transferred a hundy over. Wasn’t going to be that much but you just don’t know ay, the price seems to go up every time I leave the house!”
Desperate for some kind of saving grace, he accepted the barman’s offer of some beer tasters, before letting his wallet take the hit. “I tried two different ones, three would be pushing it. Had to get my money’s worth somehow. Thought it might soften the blow of the horrendous figure I was about to see on the eftpos machine.
“Twenty six bucks for those two in the end” he said, shaking his head.
Whakataki finance expert Pat Silverstein believes Bentley was smart to transfer $100 in preparation for ordering two craft beers. “The thing is, yes the round was $26 in the end, but it never stops there does it. His mate would return the round, and by then they’d both be ready for another. They’d also likely be much less fiscally responsible.
“Then as soon as Mr Bentley forks out for an absurdly overpriced bowl of fries, he’ll be well on his way to spending a hundy anyway!”
Despite only having four before departing, Bentley confirmed that the relatively high alcohol percentage of the beer had definitely snuck up on him. “Gee the crafties getcha don’t they?”, he said loudly, stumbling slightly.
The Whakataki Times predicts that Mr Bentley will be surprised to the point of disbelief by the hangover he has arranged for himself tomorrow morning.
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