ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT!
Hayley Wakefield, 25, was a complete shell of her former self this morning.
The customer service consultant from BNZ in Auckland showed up to work looking incredibly worse for wear after catching up with a few of her girlfriends who were visiting from out of town.
“That’s the last time ever on a weeknight I’m doing that. I can’t handle this shit. I’m not 18 anymore,” Wakefield monotonely grunted to the Whakataki Times reporters as she filled up her 1 litre bottle of water with four Berocca tablets.
“Could barely get out of bed this morning, felt like I had a 50 kg head. What a throbber.”
Wakefield seemed to think that a litre’s worth of the vitamin tablets would cancel out the seven wines she consumed in quick succession on Viaduct Harbour.
“Oh every time with bloody Liv. My arm’s not made of rubber but geez she can twist it. I told her only a couple and she insisted it would only be that, but ugghhhh!” groaned Wakefield who looked like the opposite of what a functioning human being should look like.
As a customer service consultant, Wakefield would have to dig deep to find the enthusiasm to interact with members of the public for a full work day.
After replenishing some sort of life back into her crippled body with some much needed Vitamin B, Wakefield then left our reporters with more expletives after looking at her Uber receipt which popped up in her emails at 1:39am.
“Oh my god are you actually kidding me? Forty one dollars! Just to go a couple of blocks back home? Kill me now!!”
More to come.
Want to keep up with more of the news that’s important? Instagram works well for that! Check out the Whakataki Times on Insta.
