GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local
LEAVE US ALONE
A young couple in their twenties, who’s identities we will keep hidden, have been relentlessly harassed by Stuff Media ever since they bought their first home two weeks ago. The media outlet now desperately wants to publish their story, no doubt wanting to highlight the couple’s hard work and perseverance.
Jane, not her real name, told our reporters that the truth about these journalists needs to be exposed. “We haven’t even been able to stay for more than two nights in our new home. The place is swarming with people wanting to find out how we were able to get on the property ladder at a relatively young age.
“It’s scary, we’ve been hiding out at my parents’ place. When we came out the front door on our first night at our place, we were swarmed by a media scrum – people asking how we saved up enough for a deposit, what’s ‘our secret to saving success’,” she said, keeping her composure for now.
“It was pretty intense,” chimed in Dave, also not his real name. “They’d just be yelling stuff at us like ‘You must have had to sacrifice a lot right? Two minute noodles and rice? Bet you weren’t going out for smashed avocado on toast were ya?’”.
Dave has apparently seen it all before, the regular stories about couples who have scrimped and saved and been able to buy a house by living frugally. He sees it as a long term propaganda campaign against young people who believe it is difficult to buy a house. “It’s all the normal narrative from them isn’t it. They’re basically saying ‘See? They can buy a house, why can’t everyone else? Pull yourself up by your boot straps! Housing crisis? What housing crisis?’”
After a week of hiding out at Jane’s parents house, the couple now believe that it may be safe to return to their new home so they can finally enjoy it. “There was just that one journalist left outside, but I think she’s moved on now. Think I saw one of her new stories about how hard it is for her because she’s got a friend who’s gone down a ‘conspiracy rabbit hole’ or something?. Really riveting stuff from Stuff.
“We should actually just lie and say our parents bought us the house and we go out for avocado on toast every single day,” she mused.
More to come.
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