TOUGH ON CRIME: National Leader Announces Funding For 2000 New Speedo Cops

Leigh Hart as Chris Luxon at leaders debate, with speedo cops in foreground.

CALL IT IN.

National Party Leader Christopher Luxon made a splash at the TVNZ Leaders Debate last night, announcing 2000 new “speedo cops” to crack down on New Zealand’s crime problem. 

While most kiwis are concerned about violent crime and retail theft of small businesses, it is easy to forget about those gateway offences, like graffiti and road cone disruption. “That’s where the speedo cop division can make a real difference”, said Luxon.

The debate, which was enthralling television that will definitely save TVNZ from eventual collapse, skipped over the key funding announcement.