Man Impresses Nobody After Taking To Social Media With His Latest 5k Time

running checking time and looking at map

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport

THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

Joel Price is often seen in the mornings pounding the pavements of Christchurch.

The 27 year-old regularly tracks his times using a running app, so naturally all he can think about is the moment when he can share them on Facebook and Instagram.

Making sure his sweat was visible, Price posted a quick selfie on his Instagram story with the caption “Saturday sweat out”, quickly followed by a screenshot of a map of Hagley Park with his 5km running time.

“Getting it done” the caption read, convincing himself that his run time of under 25 minutes was awe-inspiring and would impress anybody who opened his Instagram story.

Our reporters spoke to one of Joel’s friend’s who has been bearing the full brunt of the continuous social media posting of his run times.

“Yeah we get it Joel. You’re doing exercise and keeping fit, good for you,” he said disparagingly.  

“I don’t know who he’s trying to impress though. I mean, it’s not like he’s training for any sort of event. He’s just posting his running times and going ‘look at me, look how quick I am’.”

Price briefly spoke to our reporters between refreshing his social media pages.

“It’d be interesting to see what others think of my time. I mean, doing 5 kms in under 25 minutes is pretty quick ya know? Hopefully someone can recognize that,” said Price, failing to understand that the majority of his friends don’t know, or care, what a quick 5k running time is.

“I can probably knock it off in under 24 minutes on the next run. Kinda felt like I was almost running in slow motion today. I’m sure people will want to see if I can do it in a quicker time.”

More to come. 

Want to support the Whakataki Times? Head over to the support page and make a contribution. You can also follow us on Insta.