ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport
GLORY DAYS
Tim Dyson sat slumped on his lazy boy watching the Paris Olympics in frustration this afternoon.
The 33 year-old is under the firm belief that the Olympics lost its true essence since the abandonment of the glorious sport of tug of war.
“Ever since they ditched tug of war, it’s just not the same. Where’s the raw, primal struggle? Where’s the camaraderie?” said Dyson, who definitely wasn’t alive when they last had tug of war at the games, but strongly believes the current Olympics would be so much better with it.
To the casual observer, it may seem a bit radical to reintroduce tug of war to the Olympics. However, the sport was contested in the Games from 1900 to 1920.
“I mean, they have breakdancing and 3×3 basketball now,” Tim scoffed. “Why on earth did they ditch an event more likeable than anything new they’ve introduced in the last 100 years?”
“Look at some of these events today. Trampoline gymnastics? Ping pong? Come on. The Olympics just haven’t been the same without tug of war. Imagine Tom Walsh being the anchor at the back!”
More to come.
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