Girlfriend Knows She Won’t Be Seeing Boyfriend Until Three Hours After ‘Be Home Soon’ Text

man with beer in hi vis at pub, with background of gf on couch

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture

GIRL MATH

Matt Tate, 29, has once again told a white lie to his girlfriend Emily.

That’s after he proceeded to go  with the infamous “be home soon” text, despite his partner  knowing full well that his after-work “wind-down” routine likely means he’ll return well after the dinner she’s already given up cooking.

“It’s like clockwork. He finishes at 3:30, messages ‘be home soon’ from the pub at 4, and rolls in sometime after 7. The ‘soon’ part is strictly for show,” Emily sighed, scrolling through her saved messages from Matt, many with timestamps well beyond what could even charitably be called “soon.”

“If he’s not spending $20 to ‘give the pokies a nudge,’ he’s getting roped into rounds of jugs with his co-workers Dave and Levi, who I’ve never met and don’t want to.

Matt had a different take on his loyal girlfriend’s thoughts.

“I reckon time just flies when you’re getting a jug in and catching up with the boys,” he explained, chuckling as he added,

 “Emily’s too stressed. She should come down here with us one time and just relax – that’d sort her out, wouldn’t it? It would be good for her to meet Dave and Levi!”

More to come. 
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