ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
WE GET IT, YOU’RE THERE
The National government has announced its intention to extend the controversial ban on gang patches to tackle another societal menace: Instagram stories flooded with festival footage.
The proposed crackdown will prohibit anyone from posting shaky videos of strobe-lit stages paired with muffled bass, accompanied by off-key renditions of chart-topping hits.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon defended the policy, claiming it was born out of public demand. “New Zealanders have had enough. Opening Instagram to find 47 clips of someone’s poorly lit festival journey, featuring indistinguishable artists and tone-deaf karaoke, is an assault on the senses. We’re putting a stop to it,” he declared in a press conference.
Chelsea McVale, 25 from Christchurch, who is a regular festival goer at Electric Avenue was outraged. “This is outrageous,” she said, visibly distraught. “What’s the point of going to a festival if you can’t make everyone else experience FOMO through a story? Ugghh.”
Chelsea isn’t alone in her frustration. Millie Stewart, a 21-year-old student from Dunedin, has spent months planning her pilgrimage to Rhythm and Vines.
“It’s about self-expression! How can you share your soul with the world if you can’t post, like, 13 clips of a DJ you don’t even know, trying to look cool while you fumble for your phone in the crowd?”
The response from the public was mixed, with some social media users wholeheartedly agreeing with the restrictions, citing their overwhelming frustration with never-ending festival stories.
“I had to mute four people last summer just because of their festival posts. It was all the same! Half the time, I couldn’t even tell which DJ was playing, and they were all singing terribly—off-key, out of sync with the music. It was torture. Bring on the ban!”
More to come.
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