GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
WHAT?!
Palmerston North local, Hayden Cutts has revealed that he holds the shocking belief that he can be financially successful in New Zealand instead of Australia.
The 19 year old building apprentice is going against a very gritty grain by having a positive view of his country’s future. Hayden took a break from the weekend hours he had picked up to talk to reporters.
“Ha I actually like my job. I’m learning lots. My boss says I’m doing well and I’ll move up the chain in the next couple of years,” he said, ignoring the looks of horror on the faces of nearby New Zealanders.
Hayden’s long term view is to stay in the country and eventually become a master builder with his own company. He acknowledged the attractiveness of Australia for many young men like himself, but took a balanced view.
“Yep, lots of money to be made in Aussie for sure. But the downside to that is you actually have to live in Australia. I’d have to find a whole new group of friends and they’d probably all be Australian,” said Hayden while wincing at the thought of it.
“There’s money to be made here, you just have to work for it. Do it for the country!” he laughed.
Hayden has naturally upset friends and family alike by not moving to Perth to do mining. His cousin Damian had somehow become angry about the whole situation.
“Oh Hayden’s an idiot. He’s a hard worker so it’s actually just weird that he’s not moving to Australia to make way more money. What’s he even up to?” he asked dismissively.
“My mate Aaron’s over there making shitloads working as a cleaner! Says he does farrk all and usually gets to go home early and start drinking. I’m moving over there in March!
Damian believes Hayden’s been listening to too much of the financial literacy podcast “Keep the Change”.
“Meanwhile bloody Hayden keeps talking about ‘adding value’ and ‘investing in himself’ like he’s bloody Luke Kemeys. Just move to Aussie ya dumb c***!”
As Damian trailed off to continue scrolling Tiktok, Hayden cut the interview short to go and add more value to the country.
More to come.
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