GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
MAN ON THE STREET
Christopher Luxon was glad to escape the country this week, after getting stung with the realisation that he’s actually not that popular among voters. The latest preferred prime minister poll found that he’s even less popular than Chris Hipkins.
Now in India working on a free trade agreement, the PM spotted an opportunity to turn things around by picking up a cricket bat and being photographed holding it.
“It worked when we were playing cricket in the hallway at parliament, so why wouldn’t it work in India? Indians love cricket!” Luxon said triumphantly to the international press.
In 2025 it is fair to say that public image is what makes or breaks a prime minister. So for Luxon, not looking totally un-co while holding a bat goes a long, long way.
“Ha, Taxpayers Union Curia poll? What Taxpayers Union Curia poll? I’ve probably just 10x’ed New Zealand’s export revenue, and all while seeing off some pretty average bowling from the local slum dogs.”
Luxon’s extensive comms and social media team are now in talks with parliament staff about how the PM could carry over his newfound likeability. Senior Instagram Advisor Kaylee Donaldson has proposed a re-jig of how press conferences are held.
“With a bit of luck, the Prime Minister will be taking all future media questions at the crease, while facing full length deliveries from spiteful journalists. We are still negotiating whether this will take place in the hallway again, or if there’s scope for a practice net set up on parliament grounds,” said Ms. Donaldson.
“We invite all media outlets to come and have a bowl at the Prime Minister, or get in a good position to catch him out – either with a question or off an outside edge.
“What we can tell you, is the more time he spends with a bat in his hands, the better his poll results are.”
More to come.
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