ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
HOPE FADING
Mike Bain, 35, insists he’s “nowhere near being bald” despite the remaining pieces of hair on his head looking like they could blow off with a decent gust of wind.
Bain, who works at a Christchurch tech firm, was seen brushing the remaining strands across his increasingly shiny dome during Monday’s team meeting. Colleagues say the move only highlighted the issue.
“I’ll shave it when it’s actually gone,” he said firmly. “And besides, when it’s wet, it looks way thicker,” Bain told reporters confidently.
Sources close to Bain confirmed he’s spent nearly $200 on “hair-thickening sprays” and “root-stimulating serums,” none of which have produced results.
“I’ve got this new shampoo that makes my scalp tingle,” he said. “That means it’s working,“ he explained, as he began looking even balder than at the start of the interview.
Coworker Jess Heald, who sits across from Bain, says the rest of the team have stopped mentioning it altogether.
“We tried being supportive, but it’s hard to compliment someone’s hair when its not there. He should look at the positives really, I mean, he won’t have to keep seeing a hairdresser will he? she said.
Despite the mockery, Bain remains defiant.
“Everyone keeps saying I should just shave it, but why would I? It’s not gone, there’s still actual hair left.”
More to come.
