ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National
KEEPING OPTIONS OPEN
US President Donald Trump has confirmed he has “absolutely not ruled out” flying to New Zealand under the cover of darkness to capture Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, following the US military extraction of Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro.
Speaking to our reporters outside Air Force One, Trump said the New Zealand Prime Minister was “very grab-able”.
“Luxon, nice guy, very corporate, but a lot of Kiwis have been Tweeting at me saying, “Mr Trump, could you please kidnap Mr Luxon and he’s not very likeable, we want to get New Zealand back on track.”
Trump confirmed the probable operation would take place between 2:00 and 3:00am, as New Zealanders are “famously asleep and trusting at that time.”
“The middle of the night is the best night. Very few screens on. Very low vigilance nation,” he said. “I hear they don’t even lock their cars there.”
The President suggested Luxon would be taken “swiftly but respectfully”, stressing that he has “great respect for men who wear navy suits and say ‘look’ before every sentence.”
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon appeared unfazed, though notably standing several metres away from any helicopter and saying he was “focused on the real issues facing New Zealanders.”
“Look, I’m not losing sleep over it,” Luxon said, while flinching at the sound of a distant lawnmower.
“My job is to deliver for Kiwis. And if that means occasionally checking under the bed for the President of the United States, then so be it.”
More to come.
