GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
CALL THE EXPERTS
As she looks to regulate New Zealanders’ internet use under the guise of online safety for teenagers, Education Minister Erica Stanford is now taking an evidence-based approach.
With North Korea and China being two of the most successful nations at controlling what their people see and think, Stanford has brought the leaders of these two nations together for a boozy midweek catch up in a Wellington pub.
“Sometimes it’s hard getting the right people in a room together so you just have to meet them where they’re at. The lads happened to be in town, both with busy schedules in their work hours, so I thought why don’t we talk all things VPNs and digital ID over a few beers,” she explained this morning while nursing a hangover that had snuck up on her.
“Oops I mean how we’ll keep kids safe without having to have digital IDs or ban VPNs” she laughed.
Tech experts across the globe have pointed out that if you want to stop under 16 year olds from accessing a website, then logically you would need a way for every citizen to prove they are over 16 if they want to use that website. Basically some kind of digital ID.
Chinese President Xi Jinping and North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong Un agreed that the best option is to simply block all foreign websites entirely.
Stanford meanwhile believes New Zealanders might notice that and have a problem with it.
“We just need to make sure that everyone is safe from yucky stuff on the internet. I mean umm, we need to make sure our kids are safe,” she said hastily.
After audibly tisking at a Facebook post about how shit National are, she quickly closed her laptop and continued.
“This government is doing a really good job, but the message just isn’t getting through with today’s media landscape. We don’t want this kind of rumour-mongering getting out of hand, and if we can keep an eye on what everyone’s seeing and hearing then that can only be a good thing. For the kids I mean.”
While Stanford was home in bed at a reasonable hour on Thursday night, the Whakataki Times understands that the lads kicked on and were last seen heading for Dreamgirls.
More to come.
