GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
FOR OLD TIME’S SAKE
Judith “Crusher” Collins was in good spirits this afternoon after announcing her retirement from a 25 year career in politics.
Collins earned the nickname “Crusher” back in 2009 when she proposed that boy racers should have their cars crushed as punishment for breaking road laws. By 2017, official figures showed that only three cars were actually crushed under the legislation, making it one of the more symbolic policies of the era.
Today, in what aides described as a “full circle moment”, Collins marked her exit from Parliament by arranging for her own parliamentary BMW to be crushed into a neat metal cube.
“It seemed like a fitting end to a career in politics,” Collins told reporters, standing a safe distance away from the hydraulic press. “I never really got to crush any boy racers’ cars in the end, so getting to crush this car, which also isn’t technically mine, feels very on brand.”
The vehicle, which had been used to ferry Collins to countless meetings, press conferences and tense coalition negotiations, was lowered into the crusher to polite applause from a small group of onlookers and staffers who had nothing else scheduled for the afternoon.
“It’s quite emotional,” said one former staffer. “That car has seen a lot. Mostly painful Wellington traffic.”
Collins watched on approvingly as the machine did its work, nodding slightly as the roof buckled.
“There’s something very satisfying about it,” she said. “You wait years for something decisive to happen, and then it finally does.”
The crushed BMW will reportedly be displayed briefly in Te Papa before being recycled, much like several policy ideas from Collins’ long career.
As for retirement, Collins says she is looking forward to a quieter life as President of the Law Commission.
“Less meetings. Less noise. And absolutely no cars to crush,” she said.
“So talofa everyone”.
More to come.
