GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
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In a bold return to so-called “2015 vibes,” Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has announced plans for a second national flag referendum, this time pitting the current New Zealand flag directly against the legendary “Laser Kiwi.”
The move is widely seen as Luxon’s attempt to channel the political instincts of John Key, the leader he has long been rumoured to admire both professionally and spiritually.
“Look, what I will say is New Zealanders loved having a say on the flag last time,” Luxon told media, standing in front of a hastily printed out copy of the laser-eyed bird. “And I think what people are really crying out for right now is a clear, simple choice. Current flag, or laser kiwi. That’s it.”
The “Laser Kiwi” design, which gained a cult following online during the original referendum, features a kiwi shooting green laser beams from its eyes and has since been widely regarded as “objectively better” by many New Zealanders.
Luxon says the streamlined, two-option referendum will avoid the confusion they had last time with that weird multiple-round playoff situation.
“People don’t want complexity,” he explained. “They want decisive leadership, and a bird with lasers coming out of its face.”
Political analysts suggest the Prime Minister may be hoping to recreate the widespread engagement and distraction generated by the original flag debate, widely remembered as a time when the nation briefly forgot about everything else.
“Back then, everyone had an opinion,” said one commentator. “If Luxon can get people arguing about flags again, there’s a chance they’ll forget how much they don’t like him.”
More to come.
