ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Politics
LOVE LOST
Labour leader Chris Hipkins has reportedly been left “deeply disappointed” after discovering Paul Henry’s controversial “Shoot, Shag, Marry” answer did not include any romantic interest in him.
ACT has been forced to issue a second clarification, this time confirming that Paul Henry not only does not want to shoot Chris Hipkins, but also apparently has no desire to shag or marry him either.
The clarification comes after Henry answered a Radio Hauraki question by saying he would “shoot” Hipkins, “shag” Winston Peters, and marry Prime Minister Christopher Luxon during a light-hearted game that has been played by awkward teenagers, drunk flatmates, and radio hosts for generations.
However, Labour sources were reportedly more concerned by what Henry didn’t say.
“Everyone is focusing on the shooting thing, but nobody is talking about the real insult,” one disappointed Labour insider said.
“He didn’t even put Chippy in the running. Not for a holiday fling. Not for a political marriage. Nothing.”
ACT leader David Seymour moved quickly to reassure the public that Henry’s answer was not a serious declaration of either romantic or violent intentions.
“We need to be very clear here: Paul Henry does not actually want to shoot Chris Hipkins, but he also does not want to marry him or have a romantic weekend away with him,” Seymour said.
“There is currently no evidence of a secret Chippy-Henry romance, coalition arrangement, or enemies-to-lovers political drama.”
Political commentators spent much of the day analysing the hypothetical shooting while overlooking the fact that it was just a silly radio show question that never should have become a news story at all.
“Being shot in a joke game is one thing,” one analyst said. “Being completely ignored in the shag-and-marry categories is a much harder hit.”
More to come.
