GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
TACTICAL STRIKE
Jane Goodwin, a 49 year old executive assistant from Wellington put on a clinic this afternoon following a disagreement with 34 year old Ryan Roberts over Microsoft Teams.
Ryan allegedly “pushed back” on Jane’s request for him to drop everything and fill in some kind of spreadsheet, which she was apparently furious about.
“All I said was that I could definitely get that to her by the end of the day tomorrow, but she said she needed the numbers today because ‘Michael had asked for them’,” said Ryan after two weeks in the job and having no knowledge of who Michael was.
“But now she’s emailed me and CC’d my manager going on about ‘expectations’ and ‘customer service’ or some shit”.
Ryan was philosophical about the direct hit he just took, only two weeks in, saying he was actually kind of proud to have already had a run-in with the cold-blooded killer Jane Goodwin.
“Ole G.I Jane got me just like that ay, BOOM! HEADSHOT!”
Ryan’s manager Laura told him to brush this one off and ignore her. “Laura says she’s just trying to get me to do her work for her because she’s useless, but she knows all of Michael’s dirty secrets so she’s not going anywhere.
“I also found out that Michael’s the group manager and I know who he is now.”
Jane was not available for comment as of 2 o’clock today because she had to leave early “for an appointment.”
More to come.
