GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport
OUR YEAR!
A Wellington Phoenix fan has conducted a full scientific review of the club’s 2-1 win over Melbourne Victory today, and the results have been nothing short of astounding.
35 year old Damian Watts says based on his experience watching the match live at Hnry Stadium, and taking into account that the team won the game 2-1, it appears that it is “our year”.
“I couldn’t believe it when I saw the final results of my analysis,” said the Mt Victoria-based information architect. “They won the game, and the team looked really solid and really organised on the pitch. The only conclusion that I could come to was that it’s our year.”
Damian carried out his full analysis at The Old Bailey pub on Lambton Quay.
“Multiple people at the table with me agreed that it’s our year. And they had all analysed the situation as thoroughly as I have,” he said before finishing the remaining contents of his overly tall Heineken glass.
“And of course this is the club’s 20th year so of course that’s in our favour also.”
In the meantime, Warriors fan James Cowey sent a stark warning to Damian about getting his hopes up, after his extended wait for a Wahs premiership since 1995 continues.
“Ha ha seen it all before haven’t we. Every other year it’s our year. But it’s never come to anything,” he said, still jaded from the events of last month.
“The season’s all shiny and new for you Phoenix guys, but don’t be fooled. Failure is just around the corner and hope is the worst thing you can hold onto,” said James, somehow unaware that his own hope and faith in his team will be recharged just in time for the 2027 NRL season.
Damian meanwhile is enjoying the moment, ahead of a likely unplanned Monday morning hangover.
More to come.
