ABs Group Stage Match Against Italy Somehow Feeling Like A Cup Final

match preview image of all blacks player and italian rugby player



It’s safe to say that this is another fine mess the All Blacks have gotten themselves into. 

After losing their first ever pool match in World Cup history (annoyingly against the French) the All Blacks have been forced to name a full strength starting line-up to take on a team that they have famously thrashed in past years. 

While the Italian side will be feeling confidence practically bursting from their downstairs, the All Blacks are treating the match like it’s the final. 

Keith Hodgington, a current All Blacks critic born during the post World War II baby boom, has reported a repetitive strain injury in his neck from shaking his head so much. 

“I can hardly believe this is happening. What the hell is going on? What’s wrong with this country?? First Jacinda and now this!” he said, still shaking his head despite the neck pain. 

“It’s like I can’t even enjoy the election because of this bloody World Cup,” said Hodgington in despair. 

“All I wanted this year was for National to romp home and the All Blacks to make it to the semifinals. Not a huge ask! But look where we are now, staring down the barrel of elimination at the hands of the bloody Italians!

“I’ve said this time and time again. All this country needs is a sensible National government and a winning All Blacks team. That’s how you get the economy back on track.”

Hodgington has confirmed that he will be doubling his dose of heart medication ahead of tomorrow’s match.

More to come. 

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