Aliens Steal All Blacks’ Talent Ahead Of Match Against Bugs Bunny

All blacks losing to South Africa with the Space Jam aliens in the foreground.

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport

ONLY EXPLANATION 

As New Zealanders and rugby fans around the world are grappling with the magnitude of a record All Blacks defeat today, a new theory explaining their humiliating loss has emerged.

That being, the aliens known as the “Monstars” from the movie Space Jam, stole the All Blacks players’ talent as they had a game of rugby themselves coming up against Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes.

The claims come after the All Blacks crashed to their heaviest defeat in their history, losing 35-7 to the Springboks at Twickenham, less than two weeks ahead of their Rugby World Cup opening match against France. The team looked nothing like the side that demolished the Springboks a few weeks ago and went unbeaten in the Rugby Championship.

In fact the manner of the defeat has made it hard for any Kiwi to believe it was even part of reality. It would appear that the only plausible explanation is that the Monstars from the 1996 movie Space Jam had come down to Earth and taken the talent from the players. 

The claims are now appearing to be more believable as the All Blacks had zero points on the board until the 71st minute mark, and seemed to forget the rules of rugby completely with two yellow cards and a red.

Despite the outlandish theory, it has offered a shred of comfort to disheartened All Blacks fans, who found solace in the idea that their team’s talents had not simply evaporated overnight.

Instead, they had been pilfered by aliens wanting to make sure they could win a game of rugby against Bugs Bunny. 

More to come. 

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