Local Bloke Not On Facebook Happily Misses Event He Didn’t Know About
BLISSFUL IGNORANCE.
Cameron Brown, a 31 year old “knowledge worker” based in Petone, deleted his Facebook account in 2021 and has been reaping the benefits ever since.
Bloke Who Should Have Given Up Grade Cricket A Decade Ago Turns Up For Pre-Season Training
NEW SEASON, NEW ME.
36-year-old Dave Brunton has again surprisingly shown face at his team’s pre-season cricket training.
Beauden Barrett Turns To Instagram Poll To Determine What Position He Should Play
HOT TOPIC.
All Blacks superstar Beauden Barrett has decided to let his Instagram followers across the world decide what position he should play for the remainder of this year’s international season.
35 Year-Old Going To BYO Destined To Be Upset By The Price Of Corkage
MORE THAN THE BOTTLE ITSELF
Chris Gibbons clearly hasn’t been out in a while.
The 35 year-old from Christchurch, who was initially upbeat about going to a midweek birthday BYO, was in for a shock at how much corkage would be for the cheap bottle of wine he was bringing.
REMINDER: The United States President Until January Is Actually Still Joe Biden
COME ON, MAN!
In a shock announcement yesterday, the International Political Institute of Palmerston North (IPIPN), issued a reminder to the world that Joe Biden, the United States President who has not been seen for several weeks, is in fact still the President.
Oasis Back Together But Still No Clear Signs Of A Comeback From Ben Lummis
CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY
While fans scramble to secure tickets and relive their youth with the announcement Oasis is making a comeback after 15 years, another name has surfaced in the conversation—though not for the reasons one might expect.
Beervana Activates Hordes Of Men Confidently Swaggering Through Central Wellington
MUST BE SOMETHING ON.
The citizens of Wellington could tell that something was up yesterday, after multiple sightings of confident-looking men walking in groups were reported to authorities.
Facebook Memories Unrelenting In Reminding Bloke How Cringe He Was At 18
GHOSTS OF A DOUBLE BROWN PAST.
Matt Yates, 34, was thrown a curveball this morning.
The father of two, devoted husband to Nicola, did his usual morning routine of chasing kids around the house and attempting to enjoy a cup of cold coffee.
Millennial Accepts Old Age After Only Being Able To Recognise Dave Dobbyn’s Name In RnV Lineup
WHO THE HELL IS ICE SPICE?
34-year old Hamish Bevan finally accepted reality today, after bearing witness to a bewildering lineup announcement for Rhythm and Vines.
Local Man Definitely Going To Start Paying For TVNZ Content That’s Currently Free
WHAT COST OF LIVING CRISIS?
Logan Durran, a 29 year old customer service operator from New Plymouth, is a regular user of TVNZ+, a free streaming app he uses for light entertainment.
